I woke up Wednesday morning, reluctantly opened my eyes, and saw my husband smiling back at me.
Mornings have not been my friend lately, but his face, just the right distance for me to focus on and see clearly, was the friendliest thing I know. “You gotta get up” he told me quietly. At least he was smiling while delivering that news.
The drapes were still mostly pulled shut, blocking light from the storms we had night before last, but the middle was cracked open, and the contrast of the chocolate brown drapery and the lightened sky caught and held my fuzzy vision. My hands wavered all around the area next to my bed until I found my glasses.
I stood and took a step to the window to see what this decidedly pink vision was in the atmosphere. As I rose ever so slowly into that next level of consciousness, I pushed the panels apart and tried to take it in what I saw.
But how do you really take in something like this?
I found myself holding my breath as lyrics raced through my head of mentions of early morning meetings with Jesus.
“As surely as the sun will rise You’ll come to us, As certain as the dawn appears. You’ll come, let your glory fall as You respond to us…”
“Glorious. My eyes have seen the Glory of the Lord…the hope of His returning, fills the universe!”
“In the morning when I rise…give me Jesus.”
This was by far the prettiest morning meeting I’ve had.
After delivering the kids safely to school, I came back home and crawled directly into bed, this time accompanied by my cup of coffee, devotional, laptop, paperwork, and calendar. I figured I could stay put a while that way.
The silence and stillness of the room was more than welcome. It was a relief. I stared ahead and breathed in the moment.
For every hat I wear in life, it seems that a voice accompanies it, and so it wasn’t long before reminders and responsibilities swept in fighting over what should take priority for the day. Every ‘to do’ came louder and faster than the one before it to where there was shouting occuring in my brainspace. I just sat there, completely still but internally screaming, “I want to run away! Or maybe I need an assistant. An assistant? Wow. You are insane.”
I would make a disastrous life coach. “Suck it up and go put in some laundry.”
I was not getting out of that bed though. Sometimes the best thing to do is be still for the moment and work faster later.
I just want to spend time with the Lord right now.
I NEED Him.
I had other plans for the morning, but decided to stay home and punch some of this to-do list in the mouth. I reached over for my Jesus Calling devotional. I’m about a week behind but turned to that day’s dated entry.
“Let My Love enfold you in the radiance of My Glory. Sit still in the Light of My Presence, and receive My Peace. These quiet moments with Me transcend time, accomplishing far more than you can imagine. Bring me the sacrifice of your time, and watch to see how abundantly I bless you and your loved ones.”
-Jesus Calling, January 25
I sat with tears streaming off my face, top lip curled in ugly cry position and heart waving a white flag of surrender, yet again. And not in a ‘bring on da’ blessings’ kind of way, but because I am known and communicated with in ways nothing else and no ONE else can. Period.
I can’t help but imagine, as I lay asleep in bed each morning, the Lord is swirling around the sky and creating these outrageous sunrises, anxious for us to wake up and see them, kind of like we feel about our kids on their birthdays or Christmas morning.
A thought to create such unspeakable beauty… that I would see it as I stumble up and out of bed, and not only notice it, but be moved so deeply by His love of color and timing and, well, of me. That it would cause me to worship before even speaking my first word for the day.
I’m kind of wondering if God doesn’t have a special palette for brilliant shades of pink. I believe without a doubt that we ain’t seen NOTHIN yet.