Brian and I have talked for quite a while about buying land and building a home on it consisting of the things that structurally cater to what is important in our lives. For us, the importance of food & community means the kitchen and dining area is well planned & equipped. It means our daughters have room to grow and space to enjoy time with their friends and each other & to nurture their hobbies & interests, and that we have extra space to invite others in when needed and extend our home to them as well.
Months ago, we sat again, discussing our individual & family wants & needs in designing the new space. Our home. No pressure.
Wants: Big Kitchen Island and a cozy sitting area adjoining. 3rd car garage. Small dedicated area with built in shampoo bowl/mirror for washing & cutting hair. Double Vanity Jack-&-Jill bathroom for the girls. A family library room. A craft area…girls paradise. Built in grill on the patio….daddy’s paradise. All the little details, mine.
As we started talking about timelines and what we would want for the girls space, we soon discovered that by the time the home were saved for and constructed or acquired, they would be within a few years of potentially moving OUT of it.
I was married and gone at 19, and while I might hope it goes different for my daughters, this is not unrealistic to consider. Putting voice to the idea that they could be gone in as much time as we have HAD them was a sobering moment. We both just sat with tears in our eyes, unable to speak for a while.
We work and work and strive and plan and design and dream and all the while, these little people are taking impressions of what home is to them, not what we want it to be for them. Not what we wish we could provide.
The reality is, everything our kids want from us, minus a pony, we had the ability to give them, TODAY. All they want is us.
They want our time.
They want our attention.
They need our affirmation.
We didn’t know how long we would live here on this street. If we would want more house, or more land, or more space in the coming years. And honestly, we probably will. We already sometimes do.
But this is the house where our girls are growing up. It is the house they have lived in the longest of any house. Ever. Already. And it is the house that when asked years down the road about home, their minds will most likely conjure a snapshot of.
That’s why the house we live in, now, is actually OUR dream house.
It doesn’t look like what many people would consider dreamy at all. Some have referred to it as a ‘starter home’ and then tried to pull those words back into their mouths as I smile on. I don’t care because my husband & girls are here. It’s a 3 bedroom 2 1/2 bath home with a good size family room, dining room & bright kitchen in need of some updating. I don’t mind though because the drywall is well saturated with laughter and picture frame nail holes from moments that mattered to us and the smell of Brian’s good cookin.
So I’m looking forward to tomorrow morning when I get to wake up in my dream house. Despite the fact that I’ve dreamed of having a home on some acreage, I’ve also dreamed of not having a mortgage. Working toward the latter faster & more aggressively will make the jolt of morning all the better for Brian and me. But knowing that we are giving our girls that mental snapshot their father wishes were more clear for him, is pretty priceless.